(Original thread started on 12-28-11 by Shane Barnes) If you have a funny aviation video, photo or story, please share here in this dedicated thread! Funny cartoon video. Please tell me this is not you! This is not a Lear video but funny! A corporate pilots take on flying out of Teterboro (Posted by Alan Norris on 12-28-11) These are funny -- enjoy! The backstory: "If you ever have to give a Press Conference on a difficult subject I suggest you watch this gentleman from Rockwell International discuss the Turbo Encabulator. Rockwell International decided to get into the heavy duty automatic transmission business and they were getting ready to tape their first introductory video. As a warm up, the stage crew began what has become a legend within the training industry. Keep in mind, this is strictly off the cuff, nothing is written down. He had NO script! This was a rehearsal for camera, lighting and stage crew." http://biggeekdad.com/2010/11/turbo-encabulator/ First F117 gets scrapped and goes to the boneyard: "Ain't done crashin yet" CAUTION: Some of our overseas members (and maybe some of y'all from north of the Mason-Dixie line) may not get some of the humor here -- it's a Southern thang... You may be a redneck pilot if: 1. Your stall warning plays DIXIE. 2. Your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points. 3. You think sectionals should show trailer parks. 4. You've ever used moonshine as AVGas. 5. Your 172's wheel pants have mud flaps with a chrome silhouette of a reclining nude. 6. Your toothpick keeps poking your mike. 7. You've ever taxied around the airport just drinking beer. 8. You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee. 9. You use an old sweet mix sack as a wind sock. 10. You constantly confuse "Beechcraft" with "Beechnut." 11. You've never flown a nosewheel airplane. 12. You refer to formation flying as "We got us a convoy." 13. Your matched set of lightweight flying luggage is 3 grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly. 14. You have a gun rack in the rear window. 15. You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling on. 16. You figure mud and manure in your weight and balance calculations. 17. You siphon gas from your tractor to go flying. 18. You've never landed at an actual airport even though you've been flying for over 20-years. 19. You've ever ground looped to avoid hitting a cow. 20. You consider anything over 500-ft AGL as High Altitude Flying. 21. There are parts on your aircraft labeled "John Deere." 22. You don't own a current sectional, but have all the Texaco road maps for your area. 23. There's a brown streak down each side of the airplane; exhaust on the right side and tobacco on the left. 24. You have to buzz the strip to chase off the livestock before landing. 25. You use an old parachute for a portable hanger. 26. You've ever landed on Main Street for a cup of coffee. 27. The tread pattern, if any, on all three of your tires is different. 28. You have a pair of fuzzy dice and some small copper shoes hanging from the Magnetic Compass.. 29. You put straw in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold. 30. You've got matching bumper stickers on each side of the vertical fin. 31. There are grass stains on the tips of your propeller. 32. Somewhere on your plane, there's a bumper sticker that reads "I'd rather be fishing." 33. You navigate with your ADF tuned to only AM country stations. 34. You think an ultra light is a new sissy beer from Budweiser. 35. Just before the crash, everybody on the UNICOM frequency heard you say, "Hey Y'all - Watch This!" Speaking of southern flying...... (Posted by Eric Tomlin on 12-28-11) Short Final: Mother overheard scolding her son at AirVenture: "So help me God, if you don't straighten out, I am going to send you home on a COMMERCIAL airliner!" Only at Oshkosh! FS98 is funny now looking back on it but at the time it was a serious product! http://flyawaysimulation.com/images/media/9552/microsoft-flight-simulator-98-commercial/ Funny military quotes! "If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal- "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - US.Air Force Manual - "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur - "You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.- "Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance Manual- "Five second fuses only last three seconds." -Infantry Journal - The three most useless things in aviation are; "Fuel in the bowser, a runway behind you and air above you." -Basic Flight Training Manual- "Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." - Maritime Ops Manual - "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit- "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." -USAF Ammo Troop- "Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing." - Sign over SR71 Wing Ops- "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." -Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)- "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." -Unknown Author- "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe." - Fixed Wing Pilot- "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash." -Multi-Engine Training Manual- "Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club." -Unknown Author- "If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos. If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot." -Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot- "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies." -Sign over Control Tower Door- "Never trade luck for skill." -Author Unknown- The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are: "Did you feel that?" "What's that noise?" and "Oh S#@&!' or (appended from the Arkansas Air National Guard): "Hold my beer and watch this!" -Authors Unknown- "Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight." -Basic Flight Training Manual- "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation - we have never left one up there!" - Unknown Author - "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it." - Emergency Checklist- "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) - "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." -Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ- "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." - Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk- "You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal." - Lead-in Fighter Training Manual - As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks,'What happened?' The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!' "We have just enough fuel to get to the crash site!" -Author unknown- (Posted by Ron Rollo on 09-24-16) This is a really funny commercial aviation video! Who wants to go for a helicopter ride with this guy? (Posted by Eric Tomlin on 09-26-16) Short Final taken from AVWEB's site: JAX Approach: "American 123, airport 11 o'clock, 8 miles. Report in sight." AA123: (obviously, the co-pilot) "The man says he has the airport in sight." JAX approach: "Tell the man he's cleared to the airport, expect a visual runway 8." AA123: "I'll break it to him gently." If you have a funny video, photo or quote, feel free to share!The Comedy Thread!
Forum Navigation
#1 · December 18, 2017, 10:42 am
2017-10-10